Mario & The Magician of Ghoraf
by kirbyfan64
Summary: Mario enters a strange new land and seeks the help of an extremly powerful magician to help him get back home. Let me know if it reminds you of anything.
1. Going Through The Warp Pipe

Luigi was leaning up against a pipe whistling and waiting for Mario to show up. A few seconds later Mario did what Luigi wanted him to do.

"What's the big emergency?" Mario asked.

"Come look in this pipe." Luigi instructed.

The brothers both looked in the pipe.

"I don't see anything." said Mario.

"Exactly. It's so deep I can't see what it leads to." Luigi explained.

"So then why did you call me over here?" Mario asked.

"Because I want you to go down there and see if it leads to something dangerous so we can put up a sign warning people not to jump into it." Luigi answered.

"Well why do I have to be the one to risk my life and not you?" Mario asked.

"Because you're the one with all the insurance." answered Luigi.

"What are you talking about?" asked Mario. "You're insured too." he said.

"No I'm not. My policy doesn't kick in for another 55 years." Luigi corrected.

"55 years!" Mario said in shock. "How is that possible?" he asked. "You got insured the same time I did. he said.

"True, but when I did it I chose a policy that wouldn't kick in for another 82 years." Luigi explained.

"Why in the world would you do that?" asked Mario.

"Because if I did, I would get a $50 discount on the first three months of the 6th and 92nd years." Luigi answered. "I couldn't pass up that opportunity." he said.

Mario then looked at his brother like he was insane.

"So bottom line, you have to be the one to go down there." Luigi said to Mario.

Mario was about to jump into the pipe but then Luigi spoke.

"I just remembered, you're not covered for getting injured while jumping into a pipe unless you're carrying a baby Toad named Toado in a brown basket while you do it." Luigi explained as he handed Mario a baby Toad named Toado in a girly brown basket.

"We should really change our insurance provider." suggested Mario just before he jumped into the pipe.

When Mario and Toado got to the end of the pipe it wasn't anything dangerous at all.

"Luigi, it's perfectly safe!" Mario shouted up through the pipe.

Mario got no reply.

"This pipe must be deeper than I thought." said Mario as Toado looked to his left.

Toado was so amazed by what he saw that he told Mario to look at it by pointing to their left. When Mario looked where Toado was pointing he saw an obviously man-made river wrapped around a road made of red bricks. There were also a bunch of houses so small, no one could possible go inside them unless they were really really short.

"Toado, I don't think we're in the Mushroom Kingdom anymore." Mario said as he stood up. "But I'm not gonna say that we aren't because confirming things like that usually leads to being proven wrong." he continued.


	2. The Clear Aqua Road

Parts of the ground and roofs of the houses started to move. Those parts were actually people wearing very realistic camouflage. After they were all on the ground, they took off their disguises. This revealed they looked exactly like Toads and Toadettes. Mario and Toado were both confused.

"I told you hiding like that as opposed to in a normal way made no sense. Even that baby sees it." a Toad lookalikes whispered to a Toadette lookalike.

"Where am I? And what are you Toads doing here?" Mario asked.

The lookalikes then laughed. Mario and Toado were confused again.

"We're not frogs, we're Shorties, this is Shortyarea, an extremely tiny area in the much bigger, more important place Ghoraf." a Toad lookalike corrected.

"Uhhm, ok." said Mario finding this very weird. "I'm gonna go now." he said.

"Hold on!" a boy Shorty shouted just as Mario was going to jump back up through the pipe. "You are convicted of squishing." he said.

"Squishing?" Mario said in confusion."

"If you would step forward, turn around, and look down, you will understand." the Shorty explained.

Mario did what the Shorty asked him to do and what he saw was a flat woman with striped socks.

"When you came down from the pipe you landed on and squished her." the Shorty explained

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." Mario apologized.

"No. There's no need to apologize until we make sure she absolutely got squished." the Shorty said.

The Shorty walked over to the flat woman and just stared and her for a few seconds.

"Why aren't you doing anything?" asked Mario.

"Well, none of us Shorties can figure out if she positively got squished because none of us are doctors." the Shorty answered.

Mario looked over at the rest of the Shorties and saw that there were hundreds of them.

"Not a single one of you." Mario said surprised.

"We don't need one. Whenever a disease spreads through the air it passes over us because we're so low to the ground." the Shorty explained.

"Then what do you do when you get injured?" asked Mario.

"Oh yeah, like we'd pay someone to wrap up the part that hurts and then unwrap it once it doesn't hurt anymore." the Shorty explained sarcastically.

"What about when you need surgery or having a baby?" Mario asked.

Mario and Toado looked at all the Shorties and all of them including the girl ones obviously had no idea what Mario was talking about.

"Never mind then." said Mario.

No one said anything for a few seconds.

"So, are you a doctor?" asked the Shorty Mario talked to before.

"Part time." Mario answered.

"Could you please examine the woman who weighs just a little bit less than you yet you somehow turned into a crepe for me?" asked the Shorty as he pointed at the flat woman unintentionally making Mario feel bad.

"Uh-huh" answered Mario with a hint of regret in his voice.

Mario then tested the woman to see what condition she was in.

"I'm sorry to tell you this but, she got 100% squished." Mario stated.

The Shorties were quiet for a couple seconds, but then cheered as they rang bells like crazy.

"Why are you all happy? Mario asked.

"Because, the woman you squished was the Mean Princess of the Right Hand Side" a girl Shorty answered.

"She used to come here from her kingdom far far away just because she preferred being mean to us instead of her loyal, because they were now extremely sensitive to pain and didn't want to get touched, subjects." explained a boy Shorty.

"That's why we were wearing those totally obscure disguises that looked obscurely accurate." another boy Shorty explained.

"Three cheers for the nice doctor who squished the princess!" a girl Shorty shouted.

The Shorties lifted up Mario and did two 'hip hip hoorays', throwing him in the air after each cheer.

"You know what, I'm tired of cheering." a boy Shorty said.

The other Shorties then agreed with him. The Shorties then dropped Mario on the ground.

"Sorry, miss." a boy Shorty apologized.

"Miss? Look, I don't know what things are like here, but I'm a guy." Mario said.

"Then why are you wearing a dress?" asked a boy Shorty.

"I'm not wearing a..." Mario started to say before he looked down and saw that he was wearing a blue dress.

Mario then screamed. He also felt his hair and not only was his hat gone, he also had a girl's hair style. Then he screamed again.

"How long have I been wearing this?" Mario asked.

"We're all assuming, since you got here." answered a girl Shorty.

"Well I'm going back to my world and changing as soon as possible." Mario said as he walked back over to the pipe.

"Wait!" Mario heard a familiar voice shouted.

Mario and Toado looked to where the voice came from and saw a giant pink bubble get closer and closer to them, getting darker with every inch it got closer. Once the bubble got the closest it could get, it popped, and someone who looked exactly like Peach, only with a fancier dress, came out of it.

"You can't leave when you're wearing that dress." the lookalike said. "If you do, all your clothes will turn into it." she explained.

"How do you know this, Peach?" Mario asked.

The lookalike the turned her head to see if anyone was behind her and there wasn't.

"Are you talking to me?" asked the lookalike.

"Yes." Mario answered confused.

Two Shorties, each a different gender, then walked over to Mario.

"She's not a fruit." the boy Shorty said.

"She's the Nice Princess of the Uppermost Point." said the girl Shorty. "By calling her a peach, are you saying she's fat?" she asked.

"No, it's not that, it's just that she looks like someone from my world too." Mario answered. "Man, it's a good thing I didn't call you by Peach's old name, otherwise that would've been much worse." he said.

"Why? What was it?" asked the princess.

Mario then whispered the right answer in the princess's ear.

"Oh, I see." the princess responded.

"So, what was this about all my clothes changing?" asked Mario.

"If you go back up through the pipe, all your clothes will turn into what you're wearing." answered the princess.

"Well, do any of you have any men's clothes I could borrow?" Mario asked as he turned around.

"We do, but none in your side." a boy Shorty answered.

"Then what am I gonna do?" Mario asked as he turned back around.

"You're gonna have to see the magician." the princess answered.

"I don't understand." Mario said. "Is there one putting on a show later or is 'The Magician' the name of a rapper?" he asked.

"Neither. The magician I'm speaking of is in the Green-Yellow Municipality." the princess answered.

"How do I get to the Green-Yellow Municipality?" Mario asked.

"You know what, you ask alot of questions." said the princess just before she got in another bubble and flew away.

"Do any of you know how to get there?" asked Mario.

"No." answered a boy Shorty. "But I know how we can find out." he said just before he went into his house.

The Shorty came back out pushing a robot. He then opened the keyboard on the robot's back and typed in "Green-Yellow Municipality". The robot then went right into the river. This made it short circuit.

"Well, that's a shame. But at least now we know what you have to do to get to the Green-Yellow Municipality." said the Shorty.

"I have to jump into the river?" Mario said in confusion.

"No. You have to follow the Clear Aqua Road." the Shorty corrected.

"Follow the Clear Aqua Road." said a girl Shorty.

"Follow the Clear Aqua Road." a boy Shorty said.

All the Shorties began saying 'Follow the Clear Aqua Road.' simultaneously. Mario picked up Toado in his basket and got in the Clear Aqua Road as the Shorties continued to explain to Mario what he had to do. Mario made it all the way out of Shortyarea, and they were still doing it.

"Guys!" Mario shouted as he turned around.

The Shorties then stopped.

"I get it." continued Mario.

The Shorties then waved good bye as they said things like "Good bye" and "So Long". Mario then turned back around, and him and Toado were soon out of sight.

"Did you ever learn his name?" a boy Shorty asked.

"I hardly knew he was here." another boy Shorty answered.


	3. What An Idiot!

Mario swam and Toado's basket floated for a while, but then they came to a fork in the "road". On the land in between the two ways to go was a scare crow who looked exactly like Donkey Kong wearing Link's outfit with straw coming out of it.

"Which way do we go?" Mario asked.

"Turn left now." the scarecrow said.

"Did that Donkey Kong scarecrow just talk?" asked Mario.

"Recalculating. Turn right now." the scarecrow said."Ok, now I'm really confused." Mario said.

"Recalculating. Turn both ways now." said the scarecrow.

Mario looked at each other with confused faces.

"Should we get out of the water and see what the deal with the scarecrow is?"

Toado then nodded yes. Mario then got out of the water while carrying Toado in his basket. He then examined the scarecrow.

"Stop staring at me!

Mario and Toado then screamed. Toado than began crying. Mario reached into Toado's basket to try to find a bottle of milk. He found one and gave it to him.

"So why did you scream at me like that?" asked Mario.

"You are a crow, and that is how I scare them.

"What the heck are you talking about?" Mario asked. "I'm not a crow, I'm a human." he corrected.

"You are." the scarecrow said with an upset tone.

"Yes." answered Mario.

"Oh!" whined the scarecrow. "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" he said as he hit himself on the head.

"What's the matter?" asked Mario.

"Well, my name is 'Donkey Kong'..." the scarecrow began to say.

"What? So someone here is actually someone I know and not just an exact lookalike!" Mario cheered before he realized something. "Oh wait, you can't be the Donkey Kong I know, because he doesn't talk." he said in disappointment.

"So anyways, do you know what 'Donkey Kong' means?" asked Donkey Kong.

Mario than thought about it for a moment.

"I have an idea, but as a character in something that's supposed to be K rated, I can't say it." answered Mario.

"Well it means 'Stupid Monkey'." Donkey Kong said. "I was given that name because I have no brain." he said.

"I'm sorry, it sounded like you said you have no brain." Mario replied.

"I did." said Donkey Kong.

"You don't have a brain at all? That's not possible. If one organ is missing or does not function properly, all other organs won't function properly." Mario explained.

"Well I..." Donkey Kong started to say.

"But if you just so believe that you're brainless, please explain to me, the doctor, how you're still alive." Mario said.

"I can't, I have don't a brain." Donkey Kong said.

"Don't you mean 'I don't have a brain'?" asked Mario.

"You don't have a brain! Oh, I'm so sorry." said Donkey Kong.

"That's not what I meant." Mario corrected.

"No, my grandmother's cat's cousin's frame manufacturer is not currently looking to adopt a wristwatch that gives you the ability to give other people the ability to turn bicycles into bicycles." Donkey Kong told Mario.

Mario and Toado then gave extremely confused faces to Donkey Kong because they never thought they would ever see someone that stupid. This caused Toado to drop his bottle.

"You know what, you should come with me and my friend to the Green-Yellow Municipality." Mario suggested.

"What am we going?" asked Donkey Kong despite the fact Mario just told him.

"Uhhm, we're off to see the magician, the hopefully nice to strange men who wear dresses magician of Ghoraf." Mario answered as he picked up Toado's basket. "I'm gonna ask him to get me some men's clothes, and if he does, he'll probably get you a brain." he continued.

"That's a shame." Donkey Kong said.

"Yeah, you totally should come with us." Mario said before they all got in the water.

"Which way do we go?" Mario asked.

"I don't know." Donkey Kong answered. "Let's go that way and see what happens." he suggested as he pointed right.

They than began to swim on the right path.


	4. Boss? Fight?

Donkey Kong and Mario swam for a couple more miles.

"I'm getting hungry from all this swimming." Mario said.

"Me three." Donkey Kong added.

Mario then gave Donkey Kong a weird look.

"You mean, 'You too.'" corrected Mario.

"No thanks." Donkey Kong said.

Mario said nothing and just thought about how much Donkey Kong needed to get to the magician. After swimming for a few more seconds he noticed an apple tree.

"Hey, I'm gonna go pick some apples off that tree, you want some?" asked Mario.

"How dare you say that!" Donkey Kong shouted.

Donkey Kong then slapped Mario.

"Ow! What was that for?" Mario asked.

Donkey Kong then got out of the water and did a cannonball. After getting splashed, Mario groaned.

"Well, I'm gonna get apples now." said Mario.

Mario then got out of the water and walked over to the apple tree. He tried to grab an apple, but some wind blew him away.

"What the heck?" Mario said as he got up.

Mario tried to grab an apple again and the same thing happened.

"Who's doing that?" asked Mario.

He tried one more time and the same thing happened again.

"Alright, wind waker, show yourself! Show yourself!" Mario yelled.

A face than showed up on the tree revealing it was Whispey Woods from the Kirby games.

"Oh great, you again." Mario complained as he walked over to Whispey Woods.

Whispey then blew Mario away again.

"Oh, come on, I just want 1 apple." said Mario.

Mario was blown away again.

"You act like I'm trying to take your children." Mario said.

This went on and on and started to annoy Toado. But, Toado noticed an axe not far from Whispey. He got out of his basket and crawled over to the axe. He picked it up and began hitting it against Whispey. Mario was blown away one more time but when he got up, he saw Whispey was on the ground.

"What the heck?" Mario asked.

Mario then looked over and saw that Toado was holding the axe.

"How were you able to pick that up?" asked Mario.

Toado than answered by saying some baby words.

"Yes of course." Mario replied.

"What did he say?" Donkey Kong asked after he got out of the water.

"I have no idea." answered Mario.

The two then heard a weird noise.

"What's that?" asked Donkey Kong.

The three then listened to it for a few more seconds.

"I think it's coming from over there." Mario said as he pointed to where he thought the noise was coming from.

Mario put Toado back in his basket and carried him to where he was pointing. Donkey Kong walked in the opposite direction. Mario then came back and walked to where they were supposed to go. When they got to where the noise was coming from, they saw a metal version of Wario.


	5. Metal Wario's Origins

Mario and Toado then realized the weird noise was coming from the metal Wario. It was obvious that it was trying to say something.

"What?" asked Mario. "I can't tell what you're saying."

Mario then put his ear up against Metal Wario's mouth so he could better hear what he was saing.

"Ok, if you want me to." Mario said after he listened to Metal Wario.

Metal Wario then came to life.

"Oh thank you." thanked Metal Wario.

Metal Wario then sat on a rock.

"So when I was born..." Metal Wario started to say.

**One Totally Boring Story Later**

"And that's my life." Metal Wario concluded.

Toado had fallen asleep some time during the story.

"So you used to do bad things and when you found out the reason for that was because you were born without a heart, you started doing good deeds to try to earn one." sadi Mario.

"Yes, I jsut told you that." Metal Wairo siad angirly. "Whyat part of my story wasn't clear?" he asked.

"Oh, I understood the whoel thign, it's just that..." Mario started to szay. "Never mind. But is your name by any chance 'Wario'?" he asked.

"No, my name is 'The Alluminum Man'." answered Metal Wario.

"Oh, then never mind." sadi Mario. "But if you want a heart I'm sure the magician me and my frineds are looknig for will gieve you one." he said.

"Why, that doesn't soudn ricdicules at all." the Alluminum Man said unsarcastically. "Ley's go!" he shouted.

Mario then grabbed Toado's basket and got back in the water. Donkey Kong then got in too.

"Uhhm, could we maybe walk instead?" asked the ALluminum Man.

"I guess we could." Mario answered.

Mario abnd Donkey Kong then got out of the water.

"The Shorties did say 'Follow the Clear Aqua Road' not 'swim through it'." Mario said.


End file.
